When someone you love is diagnosed with dementia, the world shifts in ways you’re never fully prepared for. Life takes on a new rhythm, one that demands patience, compassion, and resilience. For the person living with dementia, family support can mean the difference between merely existing and truly living. But for families, this journey often begins with a mix of confusion, fear, and overwhelming questions: How do we help? What if we make mistakes? How do we find the balance between care and independence?
This Alzheimer’s Awareness Month let’s explore into the real and transformative role that family support plays in dementia care. It’s not about heroics or perfection. It’s about showing up, with open hearts and willing hands, to navigate this journey together.
Understanding the Emotional Landscape
The first step in supporting a loved one with dementia is acknowledging the emotional confusion that often accompanies the diagnosis. It’s not just the person with dementia who deals with fear and uncertainty, it’s the entire family. And these emotions are hardly organized. They’re raw, unpredictable, and deeply personal.
For many, denial is the initial reaction. “She’s too young for this.” “He’s just forgetful—it’s not dementia.” These thoughts are natural, a response to protect ourselves from the painful reality. But denial can delay important conversations and decisions. The sooner families come to terms with the diagnosis, the sooner they can start building a supportive framework that truly helps. Equally challenging are the feelings of guilt. Caregivers often struggle with thoughts like, “Am I doing enough?” or “I feel so frustrated, and I shouldn’t.” These emotions are normal and don’t make you a bad caregiver or family member. Recognizing and addressing them is essential for your own well-being and for fostering a healthier relationship with your loved one.
The Transformative Power of Connection
At its core, family support is about connection. It’s about ensuring that your loved one feels seen, heard, and valued, even as their abilities change. For many individuals with dementia, the hardest part isn’t memory loss or confusion, it’s the feeling of invisibility.
One of the most meaningful things families can do is to reaffirm their loved one’s sense of purpose. Dementia doesn’t erase a person’s identity. It’s still possible to share laughter, create memories, and engage in meaningful activities, even if those activities look different than they did before.
For example, if your loved one used to love gardening but now finds it overwhelming, consider simpler tasks like watering plants or arranging flowers. If they enjoyed cooking, invite them to help with easy, safe steps like stirring or adding ingredients. These small moments of participation remind them that they’re still contributing, still valued, and still an important part of the family.
Breaking the Silence: Why Communication is Key
Supporting someone with dementia often requires conversations that most families aren’t used to having. These talks can be uncomfortable, but they’re essential. Open communication helps ensure that everyone, including the person with dementia, feels heard and involved in decisions about their care.
One powerful question to ask is: “What does support look like for you?” This may seem simple, but it opens the door to understanding their preferences, fears, and hopes. For instance, some individuals might prioritize staying at home for as long as possible, while others might express a desire to maintain specific hobbies or social connections.
But communication isn’t just about words. It’s about observing and interpreting non-verbal cues as well. As dementia progresses, your loved one may struggle to articulate their needs. Pay attention to their body language, facial expressions, and behaviours, these can offer valuable insights into how they’re feeling and what they might need.
The Role of Being Specific in Giving Help
One of the most common phrases caregivers hear is, “Let me know if you need anything.” While well-intentioned, this offer is often too vague to be useful. People living with dementia and their primary caregivers are already juggling so much that figuring out how others can help feels like just another task.
Instead, being specific is key. Instead of saying, “How can I help?” try offering something concrete:
- “I can pick up groceries for you on Fridays.”
- “Would it help if I mowed the lawn this weekend?”
- “I’d love to come by and spend an hour with Dad so you can have a break.”
These specific offers not only lighten the load but also demonstrate genuine care and initiative. They’re also easier for the recipient to accept because they remove the burden of asking for help.
Balancing Care and Independence
One of the difficult aspects of family support is finding the balance between providing care and respecting independence. It’s natural to want to protect your loved one from harm, but it’s equally important to honour their autonomy and dignity.
This often involves embracing what some call “acceptable risk.” For example, your loved one might insist on cooking a simple meal by themselves. While there’s a small risk of them forgetting to turn off the stove, there’s also huge value in allowing them to maintain this sense of independence. The key is to assess risks thoughtfully and implement safeguards where needed, such as installing a stove timer or supervising from a distance.
By involving your loved one in decisions about their care, you’re not only respecting their action but also fostering a sense of partnership. This can be incredibly empowering for them and can help reduce feelings of helplessness or frustration.
Expanding the Definition of Family
Family support isn’t limited to blood relatives. Friends, neighbors, and even community organizations can play a crucial role in creating a supportive network. Dementia is a journey that no one should face alone, and the more people who are involved, the more manageable the challenges become.
Don’t hesitate to lean on your broader community. Whether it’s joining a local dementia support group, asking a neighbour to check in occasionally, or seeking professional caregiving services, these additional layers of support can make a world of difference.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not failing your loved one by admitting you can’t do it all on your own. In fact, building a strong support network is one of the most loving and responsible things you can do.
The Impact of Family Support
When families come together to support a loved one with dementia, the benefits extend far beyond the individual. Caregiving can strengthen bonds, deepen empathy, and bring families closer in ways they never imagined.
Of course, the journey is rarely easy. There will be moments of frustration, exhaustion, and doubt. But there will also be moments of profound connection and joy. A shared laugh, a cherished memory revisited, a simple act of kindness, these are the moments that remind us why family support matters so deeply.
This Alzheimer’s Awareness Month let’s commit to doing better, as families, as communities, and as a society. Let’s move beyond vague promises of help and take concrete steps to support those living with dementia and their caregivers. Let’s listen more, judge less, and show up in ways that truly make a difference.
Because at the end of the day, dementia doesn’t define a person or their family. What defines them is how they face the journey together, with love, resilience, and unwavering support.
To hear more about the transformative power of family support, watch our exclusive interview with Mary Beth and Jessica, two incredible dementia advocates who share their personal stories and insights. Their experiences are a testament to the strength and beauty of family support in action.
Concerned about your loved one’s brain health? Let us help. Call (647) 771.2273 today to speak with our caring team and get the support you deserve.